DIVORCE & LGBTQIA+

 Does the Church’s current laxness regarding divorce lend credence to those in the LGBTQIA+ community’s allegations of hypocrisy? The local church, in many cases (the number is dwindling), readily identifies the practice of homosexuality as a sin. However, little, if any, concern is raised when even church Elders are divorced.

I have heard at least one pastor state that he considers divorce to be no more of a problem than having a father of a child conceived out-of-wedlock serve as an Elder. Clearly, this pastor has given no serious consideration to the issue.

The pastor would suggest that there is no proscription against premarital sex that did not result in a child conceived out-of-wedlock. By extension, this pastor naively suggests that if either an abortion or D&C occurs, such relationships would be preferable to bringing the child to term.

Furthermore, such a position reveals an ignorance of biblical teachings with respect to these issues. Although proscriptions against premarital sex are clear, the Bible makes a clear distinction between those who engage in premarital sex and subsequently marry - irrespective of the birth of a child - and divorce.

I would draw your attention to Deuteronomy22:28,29: “If a man finds a girl who is a virgin, who is not engaged, and seizes her and lies with her and they are discovered, then the man who lay with her shall give to the girl’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall become his wife because he has violated her; he cannot divorce her all his days.”

The Bible provides a remedy, unavailable to divorcees, in addressing the issue of premarital sexual relations. Furthermore, most people do not realize that the ministers of the sacrament of marriage are the spouses themselves. While the Church strongly encourages members to marry in the presence of a minister, strictly speaking, an officiant is not needed. As long as each spouse intends to contract a true marriage, the union is formed. To argue against this point is to vitiate the union between Adam and Eve.

However, when it comes to divorce, please note the following: Luke 16:18: “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and everyone who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.”

As we examine the issues further, we note that there are four words listed in The New Strong’s Expanded Concordance of the Bible that address the dissolution of marriage. The Gospel of Mark uses the Greek term “apostasion”. It is defined as “Separative. A defection. A standing off. Writing a bill of divorcement.”

Jesus, quoting the OT, states: “But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh; consequently, they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate” (Mark 10:6-9 NASB).

In the books of Leviticus and Deuteronomy, we find the Hebrew term “garash” (i.e., to drive out from a possession; to cast out a woman; to put a woman away from her husband). We also find the use of the Hebrew term “kriythuwth” (i.e., to cut, destroy or consume; to sever something from something else by cutting with a blade). The latter term implies a cutting off of a person - not being killed, but rather driven out of the family and removed from the blessing of the covenant.

In the Old Testament era, a bill of divorcement was often written. During this era, a man could do this if the wife failed to either please him or if he found some “uncleanness” in her. However, there were grave warnings and severe consequences for any parties who lied.

“When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house, and she leaves his house and goes  and becomes another man’s wife, and if the latter husband turns against her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife, then her former husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife, since she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance” (Deuteronomy 24:1-4 NASB).

“I hate divorce,” says the Lord. (Malachi 2:13 NASB). Jesus informed His audience, “Because of the hardness of your hearts, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery’” (Matthew 19:8-9 NASB).

Jesus elsewhere said, “I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the cause of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery’” (Matthew 5:31-32 NASB). 

Do members of of the LGBTQIA+ community have a legitimate argument regarding divorcées? Perhaps. It is unclear whether local church communities explore the grounds upon which the myriad of divorces plaguing our local churches have been examined in light of the Bible’s clear requirements.

What, if any, examinations are undertaken when considering membership of divorcees to ensure that they are not in violation of clear biblical teaching with regard to the issue of marriage and divorce? Please compare and contrast the legitimacy of divorcees who do not satisfy biblical criteria vis-a-vis those engaged in homosexual relationships.

One of the pastors to whom I directed the inquiry responded as follows:

Good evening! Great to hear from you; I’ve been trying to be productive and I’m working on confirmation curriculum. But I have some thoughts on your text.

I agree that the church’s silence, laxness, and simply inconsistent response to divorce, heterosexual sin, etc. has absolutely played a huge role in the church’s failure to respond to LGBTQIA.

I would quickly say that I don’t agree with what you attribute to be my view of divorce, premarital sex, children out of wedlock, etc. Your characterization of my views are completely erroneous.

To your final question about membership of divorcees vis a vis LGBTQIA, I believe the church I serve, and I, teach what scripture has to say on these matters. I do this unequivocally and without apology. I’ve had plenty of people disagree with me, say many negative comments about me, and leave the church. 

So the Law is preached. Oftentimes, divorcees come to me with a burdened conscience and we go through confession and absolution. I’ve had LGBTQIA folks do the same. Depending on the response, the Gospel may follow. Or they may leave still clinging to their sin. 

Sadly the many churches that do make excuses and allow and support sexual sin have made it that much harder to speak clearly against.

An example: I was relieved by an ELCA Navy chaplain in Africa. He is a vocal advocate and supporter of all things LGBTQIA. June was Pride month and the Navy literally forced that garbage down every sailor’s throat. So when I teach in accord with scripture (which I believe is every time I teach) I have to contend with him and others and the charges of hypocrisy. 

Those are my initial thoughts. Very good questions and I hope the angles of worldview as well as scripture’s attributes (inerrant, authoritative, etc) also enter the discussion, as I believe that heavily influences people’s hermeneutical approach 

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In response to the pastor’s comments, I provided the following:

My views that you deem “erroneous” were derived from a discussion you and I had in the past regarding the issue of divorce. (Perhaps I misunderstood, but you do not identify that in which I was in error.) I appreciate your response. However, the issue of divorcees potentially engaging in ongoing adulterous relations upon remarriage remains unaddressed. I observed nothing that spoke to the issue of divorcees, sans careful examination, engaging in behavior that should be accepted and homosexual engaging in activity that should be rejected. I am simply seeking biblical warrant for the apparently diverse views. The Church in which we as Christians are called to serve is that established in Jesus Christ and the Bible is/should be our guide. I have also sought guidance from Pastor Fernandez this evening regarding the issue. (It will be interesting to read his thoughts. He doesn’t appear to have strong views with respect to these issues.)